Hiatus

I'm taking a mini hiatus from blogging, I'll be back soon.

Kiss Kiss.

Sorry I have been AWOL, I've just been busy. So much has happened over the last few weeks not sure where to start. Well for all of you that said to give kpuff kpuff sweets that's not even an issue now cause she's stopped going to daycare, she was quite ill (she's better now) so I stopped for awhile. Going back didn't quite happen as I imagined, as soon as I turned into the street she started crying...lol...She screamed and screamed and screamed, so we drove right back home, there's no need. Thanks for all the suggestions though.

I've also been in London quite a bit over the last few weeks, I actually bumped into a blogger at my friends place, she was trying to be slick saying oh she doesn't have a blog, her cousin is cheetarah...lol..Anyway finally she confessed that she is cheetarah, very very funny chick.

Now the reason I've been going to London like it's going out of fashion is I had some training to do with my client or oga depending on how you want to look at it. So I had to go into the office everyday from about 9:30 to 5:30 - 6:00, let's just say I don't miss those days. It was nice to be working with people again, but I had forgotten rush hour sardine trains...eww. Nigeria spoils you though..lol. Anyway, on one of the days I was in the office last week thursday to be exact, I was chatting with Mr. on msn, and trying to see kpuff kpuff on msn video, but he has an older version of msn so we couldn't do the video thing, so I told him, we'll use skype but I can't talk cause I'm in the office. That's how me I was trying to look serious like I was doing work oh, I was even telling him, sorry I can't smile cause I don't want them to catch me, I kept sending messages and he wasn't responding, but Mr. types quite slow, so I thought he was just doing his normal 2 finger typing and taking forever. Next thing my boss/lead developer is like "umm....I don't think these messages are meant for me....".... Ye! do you know my dumb ass had been sending all the messages intended for Mr. to him???!!! But men, naija style, I just "boned" and said sorry they weren't meant for him...lol. How unprofessional...

It looks like everyone has abandoned blogsville....tsk tsk..shame.

So I found out that, kpuff kpuff has been hustling the other little kids in school for their biscuit, chai. Apparently when the other kids are eating their biscuits during lunch Kpuff kpuff is supposed to be eating her yoghurt cause I don't want to get her started on sweets, but the allure of the other kids biscuits is too much for her to bear, so she goes to hit them and take their biscuits....lol..terrible I know but funny all the same.

In other news, Aunty B or Miss B (I don't remember what I named her) is doing great so far, I am so so happy :). Kpuff is actually quite attached to her already, she actually goes to her willingly from my arms and trust me that's pretty impressive. So due to my new found freedom :) I've gone out quite a bit in the last 2 weeks. Iwent to Pattaya (near Mega Plaza) 2 weekends ago, their food is really really good so if you're up for thai food and you're in that area definitely check it out. I also finally went to Saipan this last weekend the decor's really nice but it was a bit noisy I think there was a dinner party or something going on. And then ended my evening at 6 degrees which was packed as usual, I couldn't help but think about 36s' sisters' ordeal, funny enough when I was leaving there were so many police men outside. Thankfully I had no drama.

So the following words have been added to kpuff's ever expanding vocabulary:

Wa wa = dog (correction from a few weeks back, I thought it was rah rah)
Wa wa = lizard, roach, anything else that moves that isn't human...lol
waaaa wa = grand pa
maaaa ma = grand ma
ma ma = me
daddy = mr.
oh oh (and a little jiggy) = play me yahooze so I can dance.. (lol...I'm serious)

I spoke to an old friend today, before today I hadn’t spoken to her in about 16 years, we lived on the same street for about 3 years till I turned 10 or 11 then my family moved. Talking to her brought back a flood of memories both good and bad. There were 3 of us who were about the same age on the street, we went to birthday parties together, went to ‘lesson’ together, went to the club together, everything but go to the same primary school. It was at one of their houses I watched the first Nightmare on elm street, the cosby show (though I didn’t get the humour at the time…lol) and countless other ‘cool’ shows. It was also from them I found out what various dirty words meant…lol. Funny thing is I could have contacted them at any point over the last 16 years, at least we were in the same country before I traveled in 1998 and I made absolutely no effort for reasons I honestly can’t remember. It was also in that period I discovered the bitchy back biting tendencies of girls and I must admit I fully participated in these activities as well……..(that was before I became ‘deep’ and took my women studies feminism class...lol). Whatever the case I’m glad I spoke to her and actually looking forward to meeting up with her hopefully soon.

In other news, I have a new nanny, Miss B. I met her through the girl that does our feet. She started on Monday and since kpuff is in her normal diva state she’s definitely not letting Miss B. just carry her without a fight…lol, but at least she’s blowing her kisses and waving bye when she leaves, trust me that’s a lot for kpuff to do for someone she’s known for just a week.

Lol...thanks for all your suggestions for my friend. You guys really are a crazy bunch. Unfortunately/Fortunately, my friend is getting cold feet, so the search is off (that's what I get for trying to hook a brother up...lol).

Anyway, what's new with you folks?

Totally off topic, one of my homeboys is on a quest to find a girlfriend in 30 days (no idea why). He's a fine boy (naija fine boy I hope that isn't copyrighted..lol), 6ft 3 inches (or something in that vicinity), and lives in NY. All suggestions welcome.

Mrs Nanny has finally exited the building, no replacement yet but still looking...

Kpuff Milestone/Mrs Nanny/Equal Opportunity Employment

Kpuff went to a daycare/creche/playgroup (depending on what part of the world you're in) today for the first time in her life, it was actually more difficult than I thought it would be. I picked her up 2 hours earlier than I was supposed to...lol.

Going to the creche wasn't planned, Mrs. Nanny hasn't shown up for work for 2 straight days and hasn't called either. I'm not even angry cause there's no point, I'll just pay her off whenever she decides to show up.

LM, I called the agency you recommended for a replacement yesterday but Mrs C. is out of the country so her assistant Joan is working on it, I'll let you guys know how it goes. Speaking of which when I called and was going over my criteria with them, they wanted to know if I had preference for any specific ethnicity. I always feel uncomfortable when I'm asked this, I'm scared someone is going to pop out of somewhere and call me racist....lol...But seriously, why should it make a difference?

I find it weird that people put their age, sex, local government area and marital status and God knows what else on their resumes, I mean for most jobs all that information is completely irrelevant. Plus, it definitely leads to discriminatory hiring practices.

Anyway..

Yesterday I noticed a new word was added to Kpuff kpuff's ever expanding 5 coherent word vocabulary. Introducing, "rah rah" == dog......lol

Have any of you guys got tickets to the ThisDay music festival yet? I just called someone who works at a GTB on allen and he said they haven't the tickets yet, huh? isn't this event supposed to be this weekend?. Anyway naija for you.

I have been down with a terrible cold so I didn't do much this weekend, went to News Cafe on Sunday for drinks though with Mr. it was ok, but the smoke in there was killing me. I swear they need to ban smoking indoors like they do in NY, it's just crazy.

Kpuff kpuff is finally saying mama in reference to me (siiiiigh), and she says it in this really tush oyinboyish way too...lol.

...

So recently I've been thinking of moving out of Nigeria again...(gasp!!!), just thinking ok? I know I was so excited to move here, and I'm still excited to be here, but the security issues just kill me, I mean nothing has happened to me and my family, but it's just scary, I swear I am so nervous every time I have to drive out by myself, I've gotten used to the aggressive driving, but every time I see brake lights ahead, or I see someone reversing I freeze and wonder if I should be reversing too. What kind of sufferhead is this?

Updates

I will always update my blog. I will always update my blog. I will always update my blog. I will always update my blog. I will always update my blog. I will always update my blog. I will always update my blog. I will always update my blog. I will always update my blog. I will always update my blog. I will always update my blog.

Sorry.

So I was reading through my blog the other day and realized I have asked for advice on so many things but never come back (with the exception of Kpuff Kpuff's party) to say how it went. So I'm going to do a bit of updating today.

Mrs Nanny
Yes Mrs Nanny is still in the picture, why? because with all her attitude and everything she basically gets the job done and I have been advised that the next one may be worse (sigh!). Whatever the case, I want kpuff kpuff to start going to a creche or something (my aunt has one in the neigbourhood) for an hour or two in a day, so that we're less dependent on Mrs Nanny, and also so Kpuff kpuff is more social, kpuff has to be a good mixer...lol. and not scream her head off everytime someone new comes along (which is what she does now).

Web Developer
I still haven't found one, but truth be told I haven't looked as hard as I should be looking. I want to make sure I have some things finalized before I start dishing out a salary every month.

Fine Face, No Pimples
My face has actually cleared up a bit, I stopped using 3 million products and just settled with washing it morning and night with baby soap and cleansing with a dove cleanser/toner.

Post Partum workout
My lazy butt didn't do anything consistently, I drank lime water first thing in the morning and last thing in the evening the last few months and I'm now back to my pre-baby weight + about 5 lbs. Ooooh yeeeeeaaaah.....watch out now, MILF alert!

Kpuff Kpuff
I finally registered Kpuff kpuff at Reddington (I couldn't find any contact info on Premier). Today was her first checkup with them, they have a pretty impressive facility, we'll see how it goes. As far as her tantrums, I think they are getting worse, could this be a preview of the "terrible twos" Gaawd, I hope not.

Let's see what else has happened...., I have decided I want kpuff kpuff to go to the French school, I called them but they said it's way too early to register her that I should call back next year. What do children do before kindergarten? just playgroups and stuff?

Thanks for all the comments on the "Lazy" post, I told my friend, she knew already, I don't know what has happened yet (if he's married or not)

Lazy

I've been lazy, I have no other good explanation for not updating, sorry. Well the good news is that I'm not preggers (oooooh yeeeah...lol). I had a great birthday, Mr. took me to Abuja for the weekend complete with an uber fab suite at the transcorp hilton, they had a birthday cake in the room for me when I got there....awwwww, and of course I went with my camera acting all "touristy" like I'm not Nigerian..lol, don't mind me. It was nice to be away for the weekend with just him, even though I missed kpuff kpuff a bit......NOT!!...lol.

My parents bought me jewelry and a cake :), and my baby was "forced" to sign a card for me, maybe I'll scan it and put it up here, it's actually pretty funny. I also have like 3 other birthday mates, incidentally they are all developers as well, so is May 12th like a techie birthday or something?...hmmm ok 9jamommy you're thinking too hard.

kpuff kpuff
She can climb the stairs all by herself now....yey!!!, can say daddy and still no mummy :(

Completely Random
Oh I found out my very good friends boyfriend is getting married to someone else next month, what do you think? should I tell her? (me I no want wahala)

What's new with you folks?

Thanks for all the well wishes on kpuff kpuff's birthday. Tomorrow I turn 26, I always used to think 26 was sooooo old, I mean before I know it I'll be 30...damn, well they say 30 is the new 20 ...etc etc...lol. Well after all the festivities for kpuff kpuff I think I'm going to have a very laid back day tomorrow. Well first off, I'm heading to Bobby's at Ivory Health club to get my "hair did" (Uzo's recommendation - girl if I come out looking jacked up....lol). Then after that I'm heading to the get my eyebrows threaded....finally (a while back an anonymous commenter recommended a place in VI) so we'll see how that goes.

Probably going to have lunch or dinner with Mr., whisper sweet nothings into each others ears, you know the whole 9 yards..and come home and "sleep"..lol. My 2 homegirls are out of town, so I doubt I will be doing any crazy partying, besides I've been feeling nauseous a lot lately, could baby #2 be on his/her way?.....GOD I hope not, I am so not in the mood to be pregnant right now...lol

It's Over!!

Kpuff Kpuff's birthday party has finally come and gone! one big sigh of relief. So against mine and most your better judgement I decided to have a party, mind you I came to this decision last weekend to have the party on Saturday. I finally got around to inviting people and ordering food on Thursday (I called back like 3 times to change the order) then heard there was no movement on Saturday and called everyone back on Friday to tell them to come Sunday instead.

So I had this whole 'bourgie' party planned in my head where we were going to have little tables and chairs for the kids with fun games ...etc, I kind of didn't anticipate the kids wouldn't listen ...lol (I guess you learn something new everyday). Anyway long story short, as we were putting our decor up it started raining, I mean pouring...So we had to move all chairs, etc from the garden to the patio, luckily I still had a pretty good turnout, my aunt arranged for a teletubby and a clown to come..even though most of the kids screamed their heads off out of fear when they saw the teletubby...lol. In the middle of all this Kpuff Kpuff clung tightly to me and refused to come down or let anyone carry her, not even when we cut her cake, I had to stay with her the entire time..lol. Funny thing is before everyone came she was dancing and the whole nine yards. So for anyone planning anything soon here are details that might be useful:


Cakes: 1 from Just Desserts in GRA (very very pretty cake with the power puff girls and 'happy birthday puff puff caption'..lol, the other from Araba's Cakes in Yaba (this cake was so so so scrumptous, definitely using them again)

Finger Bites: Chicken Kebabs, Chicken fingers, Asun, puff puff (of course..lol), sausage rolls (more for the kids), spring rolls. I ordered from Saheetos, now their stuff is very tasty especially their asun, the downside is that they are always late, we've used them 3 times and they were late all 3 times. You just have to tell them to come like 4 hours in advance which is what I did.

Food: Jollof rice, coconut rice, barbeque chicken, shrimp stir fry, chicken stir fry, courtesy my mommy :), my aunty and my moms "divalicious" kitchen staff, Ms A.

Drinks: Smirnoff, Soft drinks, wine, champagne, stout and star courtesy of our local drink vendor Mr. Emeka or something like that..lol

Party Packs: Not even sure what was in them but I think we had some hair stuff, pencil cases, water bottles, books, craft kits..etc courtesy of Nu Metro Bookstore, Iponri market and Tejuosho Market

Now I would like to give a shout out (in the most Shanaynay voice you can imagine....lol) to my cousin J. J did ALL and I mean ALL the running around for kpuff kpuff's birthday from going to Iponri to ordering the cakes, to putting the packs together, to decorating to serving, I mean she did like everything....Love you lots chica.

All in all it was a good party, but the last one kpuff kpuff is going to have till she's 10 :).

Cheaters

In the last few weeks I've been watching a lot of Cheaters (the tv show) and it's really got me thinking? Why do men/women cheat? is it possible for men/women not to cheat? how true is all that crap about we not being wired to be monogamous?. I know everyone gets tempted, but whats the difference between those who go ahead and those who don't?, just willpower?

Anyway, of course I went investigating with my best friend (google..lol). Who told me men and women cheat for different reasons. According to the search results on google, with men most times its purely physical, some analogy was given on one of the sites using chocolate cake. A man will walk into a kitchen see some chocolate cake and eat it even though he's not hungry, a woman on the other hand will only eat (not always o!....lol) if she's hungry or in other words if something is lacking in her relationship.

So back to my original question, why do people cheat? Is it worth it? (especially with married couples) Do you really believe what you don't know can't hurt you? Calling out all reformed and active cheaters..lol, everyone else feel free to comment as well.

Don't you just hate it when you have friends that don't get along? Somehow I always end up in these predicaments, very annoying I tell you. I want to do stuff this weekend with everyone, but now I have to segment my time and spend it separately with each of them so no one has an attitude and everyone's happy!

I have a friend who screwed my cousins man, so of course they both don't like each other and I can't really blame them, but at the same time, it's like get over it already this happened ages ago, the guy is probably off screwing some more friends, cousins, ....etc. Why can't we all just get along!!

Back to square one... I need a web developer.....again. Please send prospective candidates to 9jamommy@gmail.com

Sunday March 25th, 2007 around 11 p.m.

Me: What's that sound?
Mr: Nothing, probably kpuff kpuff
Me: Ok
(few seconds later...even louder rustling of a plastic bag)
Me: No babes something's in this room put on the light
Mr: (puts on light)
Me: Oh shit!!! it's a rat!! did you see it?!!!
Me: (runs out of room screaming, leaves kpuff kpuff behind - every man and baby for himself {don't worry she has a net over her crib so it couldn't have gotten in}...lol)
Mr: where is it?! where is it?!
Me: it ran under the chair!! shut the door!! shut the door! kill it!!! and 3 million other instructions...lol
Me: (standing on chair in leaving room, listening.., my cousin goes in to help him)
Mr: (loud banging sounds coming from room)

Few minutes later Mr. emerges with the dead rat (my knight in shining armour....lol) :) (Kpuff kpuff actually slept through all this...lol).

Moral of the story no food in the bedrooms, these Nigerian rats don't play.

Sorry guys not much has happened since my last post. I'm kinda on vacation :) absolutely nothing to do.... (ok I have stuff to do that I don't really feel like doing). My last day was Thursday, it was weird to stop work after 3 years with the same group of people...anyway, I still don't regret my decision.

Kpuff Kpuff is walking now....:), infact she's dancing as well, I think she's preparing for her birthday..lol. My dad says she walks like a drunk...lol

Oh and for all you moms with young kids at what age do you start discipline? (I mean saying 'no'...etc. NOT whipping/beating/lashing...etc). I'm getting the sense that Kpuff Kpuff is starting to take advantage of me, I've been spending more time with her since I stopped working and she throws tantrums and flings herself on the floor when I don't give her what she wants. In most cases what she wants is very specific, like she wants the phone and it MUST be open, and it MUST have music playing already, otherwise she'll fling it out of my hands. Yes I know, what absolute rubbish, please is there any other way to stop this short of ignoring her and letting her cry her head off?

Partaaaay!!!

Kpuff Kpuff is turning one next month...yey!!! Please help I don't know what to do for her birthday, my head is swirling with ideas and I can't organize my thoughts, pinatas, life-sized cartoon characters, shiny squeaky things, balloons, party packs, movie poster invitations, themed baby pictures of each young guest ......someone, anyone, please help!!!

Or should I just go somewhere where they plan everything for you with bouncy castles and all that crap...but kpuff kpuff wouldn't play in bouncy castles!! I mean my kpuff kpuff is very mature she likes the finer things in life...I just don't see those things appealing to her.....lol

What if I go through all this and she cries all day and clings to me...oh boy....or should I just do something small, just immediate family with a cake and candles? and plan the big shin dig for her 4th, 5th or whatever age they start to appreciate these things...

The last few weeks have been a bit rough for me, for one I handed in my resignation (I know I know) everyone thinks I'm crazy but I couldn't do it anymore, these people were making my life miserable and basically looking for a way to fire me, so I took the graceful route and gave them notice, my last day is March 15th.

On to better news, I found a similar opportunity with another company in the UK we are still ironing out the details, so hopefully it works out otherwise I better go and register for NYSC (gulp). I know I should have waited till this was final to quit but believe me I couldn't do it, I tried.

Also, I finally hired a web developer, he's not as experienced as I would have liked but he seems dedicated so lets keep our fingers crossed.

So on to my nanny gist even though the woman hasn't acted up in the last 2 weeks or so I am still going to let her go at the end of the month. One of our family friends was having a birthday party for his 1 year old son, Mr. and I wanted to go somewhere else, so we planned to go for a few minutes and leave baby and the nanny there so the driver brings them back after an about an hour or so...sounds like a good plan right? well mrs. nanny didn't think so. here's how it went instead

Me: Mrs Nanny you will just go with us to the party and Mr Sunday will bring you back when you guys are ready, Mr and I will leave from there.

Mrs Nanny: ah no oh! you should have told me earlier I didn't bring anything to wear, these are work clothes I'm wearing

Me: something to wear? you know it's a baby party right? you want to dress up for a baby party? (I was getting a bit irritated at this point)

Mrs Nanny: yes oh

Me: (repeats myself) you know it's a baby party? you want to dress up for a baby party?

Mrs Nanny: Yes, I don't know who I will meet there.

Me: whatever I can't force you to go (off to think of another plan)

(after a few minutes, I came back)

Me: Mrs Nanny, you really have to be more flexible (we had had a similar argument a few weeks back about how she couldn't come early on saturdays and she couldn't leave late) I can't always tell you things in advance so you should bring a spare outfit and leave here in the event you have to follow me anywhere

Mrs Nanny: eh that's what I'm saying you have to tell me early

Me: I can't always tell you early, so bring an outfit

Mrs Nanny: (ignores me and continues making baby food)

Me: (goes downstairs)

Now normally I am very patient person (ok I lie I'm not) but I've been very patient with Mrs Nanny so far being she's old enough to be my mom. Does this woman want me to yell at her? this will simply not do, I will not work with anyone regardless of age who doesn't respect me.

History of Love

So Mr. and I went to the History of Love 101 concert over the weekend. The turnout wasn't great and like most things Nigerian it was poorly organized. I was really looking to Paul I.K. Dairo and Donell Jones. Paul's performance was a joke, I think on the way to the venue they saw a couple of girls hanging out and asked them if they wanted to come along and be his backup dancers.

There were 4 of them in total, 2 men 2 women, I didn't really notice the men cause the women left me with a lot to think about. The first girl had some scarves tied to her upper arm, had on a dress/shirt thingy (these days you never know whether they are dresses or shirts) and leggings (yes leggings not spandex), and some ankle boots or something, she seemed really intent on acting play on stage. The second girl had on a 'face-cap' (yes face-cap not baseball hat) some runner shorts (like the type male track athletes wear) and a top. I hope I'm giving you a good enough visual, infact even better, you remember when you were younger and you did 'step dances' with your sisters/cousins/etc for your parents/uncles/aunties? yeah that's exactly what it was, only worse. My apologies if you know any of these chicks but a little practice never hurt anyone.

(Donell Jones) Then Donell, oh Donell my love, I really liked his performance, it got to the point that I was singing so much that one guy on our table told me and his wife/girlfriend to go join our husband on stage...lol. His DJ was actually sort of attractive, in that ghetto I'll bitch slap you type of way, if that's your thing of course. Maybe I just miss NY a little too much....lol

D'banj	and his Kokolets

Now one person I hadn't given much thought to was D'banj, boy did he put on a show. Granted, he yelled a lot of 'things' I'll rather not have heard but you could tell that he put some thought into the performance. Homeboy game out in a bright purple sequinned outfit, looking like a straight up pimp. He had me saying 'kokolet' and 'mamalet' (heeeeeey!!) all day......lol (let's hope this doesn't last too long). He even had a 'towel girl' who just came between songs to wipe his sweat..lol. I'm not even going to talk about the whole 'anaconda' thing.

Chante Moore	Kenny Lattimore

I'm not really Chante and Kenny fans but they put on a good show as well, they really make a cute couple. By the time 112 came out there about 50 folks left, they didn't come on till like 2:30 a.m. they were good as well.

(112)

All in all it was a good show, I kinda felt sorry for the stars though because the crowd was so dull (yeah I know that includes me, but it is what it is..). Where are all those crazy hyper people when you need them?...LOL

So was it worth 50K? probably not but I had a decently good time. Sorry my camera batteries were weak so I couldn't take more and better pics.

Run Down

I've had a crazy week so far, of course in between I've kept up with the latest blog gist...LOL

Monday
Had to go to Ayinke House close to the Airport to see a doctor. That place is a dump, so how did I end up there you ask? I have been looking for a pediatrician for my kpuff kpuff since we got back and everyone kept recommending this same doctor, and after trying to make an appointment with her for like 1 month, she finally got in contact with me and said she works at Ayinke house on Mondays so I should stop by and see her there. So we got there, asked for her, after everyone pointed us in different directions we finally arrived at her office, meeen her office was hot there was no light (yes I said no light at a hospital) so they had a small gen on that couldnt' carry any fans. She wasn't there so we had to wait for her, thankfully, she showed after about 10 mins. She was actually a lot nicer than I expected, considering the circumstances, she examined kpuff kpuff and told us she is doing perfectly fine and is pretty big :-D for a first baby, then she recommended us to another hospital to get some shots she's due for at 9 months. Looking around while we were waiting at that hospital, I really felt for anyone who had to be admitted there, rude nurses, pungent smells, I mean the works. Yeah we have to find a private clinic with a good ped, pronto. I'm not going back there anytime soon.

Tuesday
I had an 11 appointment with a dentist on Raymond Njoku. Their office wasn't bad, trust me I've been to enough dentists to know bootleg ones when I see them. Anyway, she attended to me about 20 mins late (not bad by Nigerian standards) and told me I need to yank out my tooth cause it was badly infected to salvage :(. So after about 40 minutes of prying, drilling, suctioning, my tooth was pulled out and I was left with a large gaping hole where it once was (don't worry the tooth is in the back so I can still do sisi....lol). Anyway, they asked me if I wanted dentures or a dental implant to replace the tooth, I think I am a little too young to be putting my teeth in a glass when I'm going going to bed, so I opted for the implants, which she said in total are going to cost me about 900 pounds plus one other thing thing that will cost an additional 300 to 400 pounds. The amount of money I have spent on this mouth of mine, it better start bringing money back for me quick quick.

Wednesday
First thing this morning I had to take my baby to get her shots, so my plan was to wake up early take her as early as possible, drop her back at home then go to the bank. Well I woke up got ready and was about to just wipe her down and change her only to find out she had diarrhea...eewww, and her nanny hadn't come yet so I couldn't hand her over to anyone. So of course this delayed us another 30 mins cause I had to clean her up and give her a bath. So we got the hospital and this one was another mad house, it was like an assembly line of mothers and babies. If you see the way some children were crying, I was really tempted to run out of there, but I didn't want to seem unappreciative as our neighbor doctor had gone through a lot of trouble to introduce us to the Ayinke House doctor who recommended us here for the shots. Anyway, after they called my baby orobo a few times and begged her not to break their scale, she got her two shots (measles and tuberculosis) and we have to go back on the 28th for yellow fever. Sigh. She cried small sha, but nothing that 'pat-a-cake' couldn't fix. So I rushed back home dropped her off and headed to the bank.

I have been having some problems with my bank, my clients/employers wired me money since Jan 15th and the money is not in my account, when I checked last month and it wasn't there I thought they hadn't sent it yet since it wasn't the end of the month yet. So I asked the HR chick and she said she had sent it already and sent me the confirmation. Meanwhile Standard Chatered say they never receive any money o!, that the last money was received in December. So this morning, swollen cheek and all (from my extraction yesterday) I marched to bank and demanded to see my account officer Ayo, Ayo wasn't around so I had to see some other guy Bayo who then told me to bring one document or the other from the NY folks so they can trace it. Once they get it they will have information for me withing 48 hours. I'm not feeling this shit at all, if it ends being the fault of the bank, me I'm moving my account oh!

Oh and after working like a 'jackie' yesterday when I got home in preparation for todays deadline, I was told it had been pushed to Monday. And Mr. got by caught by LASMA yesterday too for driving in the opposite direction on a one way, (this is the second time this has happened and we've been in lagos 3 and a half months).

I have also decided to let my nanny go, I will give details in another post, I have to get back to work.

Let's hope Thursday and Friday are a lot better.

Congrats to TMinx and Baba on their Blog wedding!!

Back to Original Programming

Sorry guys, I know I've been AWOL for a minute, it's this work wahala. Anyway I won't bore you with the details.

Last weekend one of my mom's friends came over and she had got her eyebrows tattoed. (I didn't know they did that in Nigeria) Anyway, they looked totally fab, and my mom is considering getting hers done. I don't know about tattoing my eyebrows, what if all of a sudden I want round eyebrows instead of arched eyebrows?...lol (I know I can be a complete ditz), then I'll be stuck with arched ones.......quelle horreur!!. Or what if I just want a totally different look altogether?

So with all this talk of eyebrows, I decided that I wanted to get my eyebrows done. Honestly it's just something I'm not fond of doing. I like the finished look, but I hate the process, I can say that in my entirely life I have gotten my eyebrows waxed a total of 5 times, okay maybe 6. For one it hurts so much and then I breakout in the areas they waxed and by the time my craw craw is clearing my eyebrows are pretty much grown out. So please what is the point? I wanted to try threading them before I left the states but I never got around to. So I had my Aunt employ the Lagos technique of 'scraping' sorry shaping eyebrows with a blade on me......it actually didn't turn out bad, it's thinner than I would have liked, so I have a little too much of the 'experienced' look, but other than that it's not bad.

Does anyone know if they thread eyebrows anywhere in Lagos?

So on to more important things. My baby is crawling (she's been crawling since New Year) and just started walking with support (holding the chair, bed, etc and moving from point A to B). I am very excited and also very nervous, cause the havoc this girl has caused just crawling, I don't even want to know what's going to happen when she can actually walk. God help us all.

Stressed

I swear stress is just following me everywhere. Right now my pimple and hair concotions are the least of my worries. I have 2 project deadlines for the 22nd of Jan and 7th of Feb. My client/boss is being a complete ass, and they are trying to renege on my contract. I think they suddenly realized "...damn we're paying this 'african' chick a little too much..." well that one is their palava, I'm not giving them room to say anything to me about it again (I kinda slacked off about 3 weeks ago and I heard it from them).

Meanwhile, I'm looking for a full-time web developer to help me with all the work I have to, I mean I am working from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. everyday, I don't have a fucking life! I interviewed 2 candidates today that were referred to me and it was a disaster. Why can't people just answer yes/no questions with a yes or no?. I asked this guy to tell me a bit about himself, and he had no clue...I mean the question is about him? Whatever the case, I need to find someone pronto cause this will just not do, I need more time to 'socialize'(lol) and of course spend with my family.

Oh, before I forget, I went to this place called Coconut Grove (Groove?) in ikoyi over the weekend, it actually wasn't bad. It was like a mellow 'Cafe Wha' for the NY folks. Complete with the oyinbo sounding music and live band. Definitely better than being trampled in a club though.

So what's new folks? How has your week/weekend been?

Fine Face No Pimples

Have you noticed that plenty girls in Lagos have serious fresh skin? I mean even fresher than the girls in yankee, it’s not even funny oh! And when you ask them all of them will tell they use pears baby soap or some crap like that or they drink a lot of water. Abeg, who doesn’t know that water thing? Me too I drink plenty water and my face is ok, but not as fresh as I see on these girls.

Since I am trying to attain my MILF status at all costs, I too started using pears baby soap, those bitches were lying men, why can’t we just share the love and become one big bloody attractive happy family??!! Eh? Why are we women so bloody competitive? Even my sister oh? This girl used to have serious “patch patch” skin, all of a sudden she started looking real fresh, to the point that she looks younger than me. WTF?...... I’m going off track. Anyway I did some real investigating and here’s what I came up with (*disclaimer: please if you get big pimples from my regimen, no blame me oh! It’s not my fault that you didn’t do a patch test first – thank you very much) - Guys don't worry you can try this in the privacy of your bathroom, no one has to know you apply facial masks at night :)

Natural solutions (necessary in Nigeria, cause nothing is convenient, either you swim 7 seas to buy it, or you pay through your nose)

+ Juicing: I hear carrot and cucumber juiced at home works wonders for your skin and hair, I am yet to try either just going by what I have heard

+ Aspirin and Lemon juice, apparently a few aspirin (enough to make the lemon juice pasty) crushed in lemon juice applied as a mask (don't sleep with it oh!) just put it on till it dries then peel off and rinse your face, in addition to helping with craw craw it shrinks pores the size of craters (make sure you don't have any open skin on your face, it won't be a nice experience with the lemon juice)

+ Honey, a few people said this, but I tried it and got plenty craw craw, apparently I am allergic to honey, but some people swear by this, personally, I'm not messing with it again.

+ Water, I'm sure you've heard this from everyone already, drink plenty of it.

Shelf solutions

+ Neutrogena clean and clear soap

+ Dudu osun

+ Proactive

As for those of you with fresh faces reading this, please tell us what you do to have such positively glowing skin.

Tagged

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1.Telemarketer
2.Hair braider (hey, I had to get my hustle on)
3.Graphic Designer
4.Web Developer

FOUR JOBS YOU WISH YOU HAD
1.Trophy wife
2.'Madam' (one who didn't have to ho around though)
3.Trust fund baby
4.Anything else that will bring massive wealth without any work :)

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
1.Original Sin
2.The 40 year old virgin
3.Troy
4.Wedding Crashers

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN
1.Lagos Nigeria
2.Queens NY
3.Teaneck, NJ
4.Fairfield, CT
(Ok, I know 3 of my 4 cities are within driving distance of each other, but the question asked for cities, ok?!)

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1.Prison Break
2.Family Guy
3.Futurama
4.American Dad

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELLED TO
1. EMERIKA
2. Linz, Austria
3. Geneva, Switzerland
4. Las Palmas, Spain

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
1.Google
2.Plenty Blogs
3.Work related sites
4.Craigslist

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS
1.Yam and ukodo peppersoup
2.Grilled skirt cake from the cheesecake factory
3.Mongolian beef from P.F. Changs
4.Party Jollof rice, fried rice

FOUR THINGS YOU WON'T EAT
1.Cheese
2.Olives
3.Odon (warri people should know what I'm talking about)
4.Mustard sauce

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT OR DRINK RIGHT NOW
1.Super rick dark moist chocolate cake
2.Asun
3.Guava
4.Shawarma (I actually haven't eaten this since I got back)

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR BEDROOM
1.A mess
2.Clothes
3.Bed
4.Too many baby gadgets to list

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN YOUR BEDROOM
1.A permanent invisible maid
2.Perfect contemporary furniture that someone picks out and sets up for me
3.More gadgets
4.Everything within arms reach from the bed

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1.Jeans
2.Top
3.My bling (engagement ring)
4.My weave..alright (said in the perfect Wendy Williams voice)...lol

ONE PLACE I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
Right here in fornt of my computer...:)

ONE FICTIONAL PLACE I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
Wherever the futurama folks live, they have it made!

FOUR PEOPLE YOU’D REALLY LOVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH
??? can't think of anyone???

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW
1.Too many bloody questions
2.I really should be working
3.I have so much work to do
4.Why do I have only 6 of my 10 toenails painted?

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS/PEOPLE
1.My baby and the rest of my family
2.My laptop
3.Cars
4.Shoes

FOUR PEOPLE YOU TAG
Anyone reading this who hasn't done this already!

All in a days work

My baby's nanny didn't come the entire week cause her daughter is getting married. This woman only started in November and I have heard so many stories as to why she can't come to work or whatever. When baby's are involved it's not so easy to fire and hire, it takes a while for your child to get used to someone so I will need a very good reason to fire this woman. Anyway, back to my original story, my Mr. and Mom are supposed to be helping me with her while I work, since both of them can be more flexible with their time. So yesterday, my mom was out, which left Oga in charge. Generally, it's a pain in the ass to feed her with a spoon since it's very messy and depending on her mood she might just spit everything out back at you, so I am conveniently 'not available' when it comes to this mealtime.

Being the good wife and mother I am (insert evil grin here) when it was time to feed her yesterday I went and made the food and said in the sweetest voice I could muster to Mr. to please feed her cause I was very busy with work. And infact, I made sure they did it in another room so I wouldn't hear all the drama that definitely will follow. Well it didn't work. 10 minutes later, Mr. came down baby in one hand bowl of food in the other hand...."take your baby, she doesn't want to eat her food..." and he dumped her on my lap put her food down and bounced.


That's how little madam started with her shakara oh!.....screaming, crying, jerking, stretching.....(where are those people that say I have a quiet baby at times like this?), what song did I not sing?, infact old macdonalds farm had every animal I could think of, from a ram that went baaaa (what sounds do rams make anyway?) to a meh meh goat (this is old macdonald naija style....lol). Anyway, she finished her food after about 40 painful minutes of singing and nodding and stumping my foot to show that I'm happy and I know it. And of course she sprayed me and everything in line with her mouth with her food.

Oh, I also wanted to sing that 1,2 buckle my shoe song, does anyone have the complete words to it?

Happy New Year!

I don't believe we're in 2007! it just sounds like it should be so far in the future. All in all I had a very good 2006

- I got married
- I had a baby
- I got a fantastic opportunity to do some consulting work for my employers in NY from Nigeria with the same salary (and no US taxes!!!! :))
- I got tenants who pay their rent on time (knock on wood)
- I moved to Nigeria with my family
- I have a family who loves me very much and parents that are ready to support me in whatever decision I take

Ok I'm going off track, bottom line 2006 was a good year and hopefully 2007 will be better. I don't have any new year resolutions per se, but I would like to make a few changes

- Workout more (ok fine, just workout period)
- Update my blog more frequently
- Work on my temper, it's gotten shorter and shorter over the years
- Actively seek out more business opportunities
- Be myself (don't let any of those snotty ex-QC mates of mine turn me into a snotty bitch as well, haba we've grown past that!)

Anyway, enough of this sappy mess. I had 3 weddings in a row on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, never again, those girls/women that go every weekend try. They were all good weddings, it was good to see familiar faces again but as usualy you know there are always the stuck up bitches who act like they don't know you. Whatever.

So that's how for the wedding on thursday, when we were leaving my cousin asked us to give her friend a ride back to Ikeja, this chick got in the car and started saying "turn left, turn ROIGHT", please what the hell is ROIGHT?!!What's up with everyone in Lagos having an accent anyway?.... So homegirl was flirting with my husband right in front of me sha......."oh you don't know your way [insert sexy giggle here]....oh ok don't worry I will show you the way...." I was like this chick is bold!, I almost left the front seat for her to come and sit down oh! Anyway we finally dropped her off somewhere in Alausa, that's how my Mr. was telling me the next day that the girl left her number in the car!! can you imagine!!