The last few weeks have been a bit rough for me, for one I handed in my resignation (I know I know) everyone thinks I'm crazy but I couldn't do it anymore, these people were making my life miserable and basically looking for a way to fire me, so I took the graceful route and gave them notice, my last day is March 15th.
On to better news, I found a similar opportunity with another company in the UK we are still ironing out the details, so hopefully it works out otherwise I better go and register for NYSC (gulp). I know I should have waited till this was final to quit but believe me I couldn't do it, I tried.
Also, I finally hired a web developer, he's not as experienced as I would have liked but he seems dedicated so lets keep our fingers crossed.
So on to my nanny gist even though the woman hasn't acted up in the last 2 weeks or so I am still going to let her go at the end of the month. One of our family friends was having a birthday party for his 1 year old son, Mr. and I wanted to go somewhere else, so we planned to go for a few minutes and leave baby and the nanny there so the driver brings them back after an about an hour or so...sounds like a good plan right? well mrs. nanny didn't think so. here's how it went instead
Me: Mrs Nanny you will just go with us to the party and Mr Sunday will bring you back when you guys are ready, Mr and I will leave from there.
Mrs Nanny: ah no oh! you should have told me earlier I didn't bring anything to wear, these are work clothes I'm wearing
Me: something to wear? you know it's a baby party right? you want to dress up for a baby party? (I was getting a bit irritated at this point)
Mrs Nanny: yes oh
Me: (repeats myself) you know it's a baby party? you want to dress up for a baby party?
Mrs Nanny: Yes, I don't know who I will meet there.
Me: whatever I can't force you to go (off to think of another plan)
(after a few minutes, I came back)
Me: Mrs Nanny, you really have to be more flexible (we had had a similar argument a few weeks back about how she couldn't come early on saturdays and she couldn't leave late) I can't always tell you things in advance so you should bring a spare outfit and leave here in the event you have to follow me anywhere
Mrs Nanny: eh that's what I'm saying you have to tell me early
Me: I can't always tell you early, so bring an outfit
Mrs Nanny: (ignores me and continues making baby food)
Me: (goes downstairs)
Now normally I am very patient person (ok I lie I'm not) but I've been very patient with Mrs Nanny so far being she's old enough to be my mom. Does this woman want me to yell at her? this will simply not do, I will not work with anyone regardless of age who doesn't respect me.
28 comments:
My dear, welcome to the nanny/househelp issues! Just read other mothers' blog and it is a regular issue. The situation you described is what usually happens with older women. I, as a rule, do not employ much-older women; I also avoid married women because of the same attitudes and demands. A friend of mine who employed an older nanny really had to change the terms of employment because she (the nanny) was soo inflexible. Then you really can not tell them off properly. They can suddently decide she can't take "rudeness" and leave. No thanks. I predict that you will continue to have problems with this lady.
I suggest that you begin to look for alternatives. Since you live in Lagos, call this lady - Mrs. Yetunde Coker - 0802 350 8737, she owns an agency called Krest Recruitment in Ikota and is reliable, professional and friendly. I got my present nanny via her, a househelp for my mum and have also told a cousin about her services. Another cousin of mine got her nanny through her. Her clients include individuals, companies (Shell etc). Basically, you tell her the specifications you want. She then sends some candidates to you and if you like one, you pay her (Yetunde) N5K as fee for a 6-month period or N8K for a year. Either way, if you are displeased with your nanny/househelp in that time frame, she provides a new one, free of charge, (please crosscheck this). She also advises that the 3 main tests be done - HIV, hepatitis and tuberculosis and can have your preferred candidate tested (at reasonable costs) for you, prior to your new nanny beginning work.
Try her. Don't want until you get more grief from your present nanny.... She indirectly seems to be calling the ´shots!
No comment...Miss Im gave u all the answers to any question u might ever have wanted to ask...
Good luck o..it is well.
Im said it all. Sorry you have to put up with the attitude but that tends to happen with 'mature' nannies. Good luck with the search.
@Im: Do you know anything about people abroad in search of Nija nannies? Any agencies that provide potential nannies for Nigerian expats abroad?
Oh my word! you really quit, wow! Hopefully the other arrangement works out for you, and I cant believe it about the Nanny too, please find someone new, abeg!!
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@lm....wow I guess you've seen it all, you pretty much summed Mrs Nanny up in a nutshell. I will keep this lady's (Mrs Coker)number cause I found someone else already that's supposed to start in April, but if it doesn't work out I'll be sure to call her. My mom needs help too so I'll probably be calling her anyway. Thanks Thanks Thanks :)
@dimples, thanks for the well wishes
@solomonsydelle, I know I was warned about older nannies but I wanted someone 'mature' as you put it, who wouldn't leave my 'kpuff kpuff' in the tub and run to call some boyfriend. The nanny my mom had when we were younger locked me in the house (I was only like 2) and ran off to 'play' so that was it for younger nannies/help in general in the house.
@cousin, which cousin is this? NY or NC or someone else that knows of my blog that I don't know? yes I really quit, I have to say it's a really good feeling so far, maybe when I'm really broke I'll be singing a different tune..lol
@jane doe....ok?...I'll check the blog out
Welcome to the real world!! You want to carry ur nanny to an owambe where other oppressors will be there and she'll be looking like a nanny? Any attempted attempt!! Thats just how a typical naija person thinks and behaves when it comes to things such as parties for you and you just have to get used to it. You want her to meet her future 'husband' clothed in rags? Every lady - nanny or not is still marketable you know?
You quit ur job!! I hope the new contract you are hoping for clicks for you. I couldnt find an email link on ur profile page so I put up the receipe on my page.
Thanks calabar girl, I'll go get the recipe. But it was a 1 year old birthday party now, even me I just had on jeans and a 'wife-beater', everyone would have just thought she was grand ma. Anyway to each his own.
Hi again,
I hope your nanny will remain farily "normal" until April :)
Me thinks with the issue of nannies and househelps or domestic staff, one should not be too comfortable with them or they will deal out a big blow. Fortunately, my nanny is surrounded by other people, so it is difficult for her to do bodily harm. She has a daughter in the village so that helps as in as a mother herself, she can relate to another mother's concern. God helps us all.
Unfortunately, Solomnsydele, I don't know about any agencies recruiting nannies for expats who wnat to travel abroad. That might raise all sorts of issues. That's why expats here returning to their home countries do not take the nannies with them....
LOL...I dont even know what to say about her insistence on changing her outfit. Na wa ooo...tht is really serious...so she really wanted to GIVE THEM her sunday best for a BABY PARTY!!!!
Wow....
I dont really have a lot of patience so Lord help me when I have a child. Hopefully, they will have some professional nannies then. AMEN!
@Im: Thanks for your time, anyway. The fam is moving from Bowie to a far off place and I hoped to have a Naija nanny that would reinforce my 'Naija mama' tactics!!! And, also speak Yoruba to the babies.
9jamommy: Ol' girl, you are quick, men. You don replace Mrs. Nanny already? I hope that it works out for you and the fam. Goodluck with the new nanny! Also, best of luck with the job situation. i am sure things will be just fine! Has your daughter started running the house yet, now that she is mobile? Please let us know.
Cousin in NY, I visit your blog often you know! anyway hope our girl is doing good. Kisses to her!
@Im, well she better, I think she will though, she's just too much of a diva, but she's good with kpuff kpuff that's why I waited so long to come to this decision. I agree with you on being not being too comfortable, I work from home (or at least I worked from home) so it's been easy to keep tabs on her.
@bella naija...lol..that's what I'm saying, I was really shocked when she said that, trust me chick if I can do it (I am the most impatient person I know) then you surely can, it will be nice to see a little fashionista bella baby...lol
@solomonsydell...this happened like 2 weeks ago so as soon as it happened the wheels in my head started spinning, the new nanny has worked with my mom for 2 years in the kitchen and kpuff kpuff already likes her cause she baby sits for us when Mr. and I go to bubble, so in a sense I've already tried her out and like her, I had to beg my mom to let her go..lol. Kpuff Kpuff is still not walking but she pulls everything down and throws tantrums, infact I think that's going to be my next post, how and when to start discipline cause I swear this girl has me wrapped around her finger.
@cousin...what's up chick? how are you finding NY? do you miss Nigeria yet? how's A? your baby is doing great, hopefully I'll soon be packing her bags and sending her for vacations with you all in NY soon...lol
eyaaahh! ko easy at all oh!
wow! @ you quitting your job. I hope it all works out very well for you :)
Thanks Chichi, I hope so too.
New York's good, we miss you guys over here, I miss Nigeria oh but I definitely was happy to be back to my freedom and being able to go out as I pleased.
Send her oh, is her hair still curly? I need the name of that pill if you rem it. thanks and say hello to everyone!
eya kpele your are seriously suffering. i didnt even think of the aids and disease thing unit "im" said it. Abeg send this new one to your local "jamaica free public clinic"
Nannys...
Young or Old...All annoying...
Have you read Head and Around's experience?
It is good that you have kept your cool thus far...
The person who might see her at this baby party might be her ex ex man...who will come with hins own baby..abi?how i for talk?
@cousin...good to know we're missed, I can totally relate on the convenience of going out when you want. Her hair is still curly :), even though the curls are getting tighter by the day...the name of the one I used was biotin, the one I think I was recommending for you was MSM, just look both up
@sis...it's not easy at all. Yeah we did the AIDS, TB, etc test with Mama that is currently here, it was one of mummys' friends who said to do so. Well it is Abby in the house who is taking over, she will sha still go for her tests...lol, which one is jamaica free public clinic again?
@stuck in my throat o..every day I hear more and more interesting aliases...lol at yours. I am starting to agree with you, all these nannys and their wahala. Which kin Ex?, this woman is at least 50, she needs to put all that 'denge-ing' on hold..Please post the link to Head and Arounds's experience..thanks for stopping by.
Hmm...This Mrs Nanny is not serious. She wants notice so she can pack an extra outfit? Ah? Na wah oh
Also, a friend of mine's nanny is actually a nurse. There is an agency that suppkies these nurses and she wears a white unifirm and keeps an hourly journal of whatever your little angel is up to. She loves her so if this is an option, i can try to get u an number....
Thanks Uzo, I shouldn't be surprised at Mrs Nanny after all she told me she wanted 2 saturdays in the month off cause she doesn't have time to do her hair amongst other things. But the nurse/nanny thing sounds really cool, please post the number or email me at 9jamommy@gmail.com. Do you have any idea what this costs?...(bracing myself for ridiculous Nigerian prices)
awwww... i'm sad to hear they were making your life at work a misery.. thank God you got out of it.. i know you'll find something even better... AMEN!!! Dang.. this nanny self.. is she seriously serious? that was unprofessional but maybe thats the 'canadian' in me talking now.. lord knows how i would've felt about the matter if i was in Nigeria my entire life.. cos it sounds like it makes sense to her.. like bella naija said.. God help us impatient ppl when we have kids in the future... I really hope you find a better nanny.. i mean i'm hearing so many horror stories its not even funny
like Im said welcome to the club..I just replaced my housegirl cus she was beating my kids?(see my blog)I also had an older lady and I can appreciate whats its like to have someone more mature looking after your kids. I let her go last week cus she was always protecting the housegirl(to my detriment) anytime I scolded her (always politely) she would scowl the whole day. At a point she started feeling too big.I told her I would make her a uniform for work and she refused. The thing is that you can't eat your cake and have it , your right about them having less distractions (boyfriends and co) but atimes they are like second madams in our homes,and you constantly have to show them who's boss. Imagine mine told my husband that I was spoiling the kids. Anyway I have a new nanny now and though she is a bush she's great with the kids.
My dear just pray about it, and remember no one is perfect or else you will keep changing help. All the best with the new lady.
lol! calabar girl just saw your comment..this na naija no be naija london party..whats she dressing for..I am sure she didnt wear rags to work, these people just want to show that you can't boss em around.
@overwhelmed..can you imagine? (the whole work thingy) it's really hard to believe that it'll all be over in 2 days after 3 years of bar hopping, drukeness and some puke (ewww...lol). Anyway whatever. I am really starting to understand why people complain about their nannies I mean it's just crazy. At this rate I might be becoming a stay at home mom sooner than I think
@chioma...that's so sad that your maid was beating your kids I can only imagine what that must have felt like, these things are soooo scary. Well I hope your new one works out, men bush doesn't mean a thing as long as she's good with the kids, at this point I'm just looking for what's best for kpuff kpuff, I might have to swallow some of my pride..
Wow, I hope your roller coaster ride's settled now I guess today's your last day... Good luck with the new job, but I'd advice that you make a plan to do your NYSC cos you never know.
As for the Nanny, thank God you're shaping her out...That was quick, but then, it's good to kick them out fast! Her own is too much o..
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