Sorry guys not much has happened since my last post. I'm kinda on vacation :) absolutely nothing to do.... (ok I have stuff to do that I don't really feel like doing). My last day was Thursday, it was weird to stop work after 3 years with the same group of people...anyway, I still don't regret my decision.
Kpuff Kpuff is walking now....:), infact she's dancing as well, I think she's preparing for her birthday..lol. My dad says she walks like a drunk...lol
Oh and for all you moms with young kids at what age do you start discipline? (I mean saying 'no'...etc. NOT whipping/beating/lashing...etc). I'm getting the sense that Kpuff Kpuff is starting to take advantage of me, I've been spending more time with her since I stopped working and she throws tantrums and flings herself on the floor when I don't give her what she wants. In most cases what she wants is very specific, like she wants the phone and it MUST be open, and it MUST have music playing already, otherwise she'll fling it out of my hands. Yes I know, what absolute rubbish, please is there any other way to stop this short of ignoring her and letting her cry her head off?
16 comments:
biko 9jamommy, don't spank kpuff kpuff oh!
She is now a big girl "sisi" and now that she has started walking, she needs to do small yanga before she finally calms down. PErhpas that;s her way of telling you she needs an aburo. LOL Take care
kids are so similar..In most cases what she wants is very specific, like she wants the phone and it MUST be open, and it MUST have music playing already, otherwise she'll fling it out of my hands...has she started sayig 'NO', you wait you have not seen anythin yet.
Yes I got here before IM..now that definatley has to be on my list of daily achievements.
Oh congrats on Kpuff Kpuff walking now…how sweet!!!...LOL on her grandad’s comment though.
I aint a mum yet…but yeah feel free to corret her when she’s doing wrong…because really u don’t want her turning into a little madam dishing out attitude and all that.
So did your work people have a “send-off” party for you??
I agree you should correct her but getting the balance is really important. I appreciated that when a friend told me I'd understand how important no is when she's sixteen and says no to boys! lol
I started early! When my son started to crawl around and put his fingers in things he shouldn’t, I would give him little flicks and firmly say “NO”. You know putting your thumb and your middle finger together…it was never anything painful, but it surely got the point across and as he grew older, he would see the hand sign and run from what he was doing.
“NO” on its own wasn’t particularly effective since he would laugh and repeat the “ NO” right back to me…Oh I loved my playpen…I have to go dig up a picture of that, it helped me IMMENSELY
Fast forward to today…he is now 4. I am a very strict mommy. He is going to be our only child and I have no plans of bringing up a spoilt child. I do not give in to demands, especially if they do not make any sense.
Kids are very, very smart! Smarter than we give them credit for
They know who they can give in to and who they can wrap around their fingers. The first thing you have to bear in mind is that, your child is going to love you regardless. If she cries for something and realizes that you will give in eventually, they will do it. MY son used to throw himself on the ground to get my attention when he was 2. When his dad and I would act like we didn’t even see him (obviously after making sure there was nothing he could hurt himself with) he stopped. The key is knowing that crying will not kill them and neither should it embarrass you! I know they pick the most inopportune times to throw their tantrums…you have to show them who is boss. After awhile, it will stop. But its never too soon to show them this, because they will remember this lesson all through their toddler years…and trust me this is the beginning…
Hopefully this helps. Stand your ground and let her cry and realize that by throwing the phone, it only means you get to take it away from her. But she will quiet down….ear plugs are a major plus!
Congrats on your kpuff kpuff walking already....LOL
Hehehehheeh, but her one of those kiddies phone! with music and eveything so she can "feel among" hahahaha, after all, she's a big girl now!
buy
She's walking huh, thats good. All little babies are the same. I'm sure she has a couple of toy phones you've bought for her but she refusues to touch them and sticks to ur own ehnn? U've got to be firm if not ur handset will be ending up in the toilet bowl a couple of times like my sister's own did.
@angela...lol..I have no intention of spanking her (at least not anytime soon :) ). Not only aburo..lol...maybe we should get her a pet if she feels the need to take care of something...lol
@omodudu....oh boy...lol
@dimples...thanks :), I know my dad is a character. You're right, questions is does she listen? Well the work folks didn't really since they were all in NY I got a couple of the regular 'good luck with your next venture' type email and outside contact email addresses and phones but that was about it.
@nomad...lol...I really hope she starts taking no important cause right now she just laughs when you say no...she must think it's some type of game or something
@bluntremi....great great advice, I never thought of the playpen as being that useful in discipline :). Yeah kpuff kpuff does the same thing when I tell her no she starts laughing!!, I dont' know where she picked that up from. I definitely agree with you that kids are smarter than we think they are cause she doesn't act that way with her dad who is stricter with her. I'll try the little flicks going forward and see how that goes. Right now my ipod is acting as my earplugs...lol
@uzo...thanks :)
@waffarian...I should right? men I avoid all those devices that just make unnecessary noise...lol I know she's a kid. I'll try it out and see if it works....somehow I think it's not going to make a difference..lol
@calabar gal....lol well no toy phones but lots of toys that are definitely more interesting than my phones or the remote controls but she prefers the other stuff. Lol at the whole toilet bowl thingy...thankfully mine hasn't landed in there, but has about 9 coats of sticky spit which mutes the phone sometimes...lol.
very wise words nomad and bluntremi.
but yayyyy! for kpuff kpuff walking! my dad said my sister waddled like a duck when she first learned how to walk *lol*
Thank your lucky stars she's a girl, cos boys do some damage after their new found freedom is discovered.
bluntremi is spot on with the flicking(my husband spanks on the bum, it doesnt hurt but they feel bad) and playpen..never flick or spank in anger.
A little discipline is necessary but don't paddle her oh.let her know when your serious..me my boys have seen me finish but with my phone after my oldest spoil mine..i explained it clearly to him that a phone is not a toy and now when his brother touches my phone he tells him."put the phone down its not a toy".
Beating is a no no just violence..i found out my househelp was beating my oldest and during that period i dscoverd he was unusually stubborn.
Yay! She's walking! As for discipline, we started from as early as possible with both kids. We didn't say 'no' to them. Instead, we delayed gratification by simply saying 'Maybe later' or 'Next time'. They eventually come to understand that you mean no, but at least they don't fling 'nos' back at you!
Our son, now, that is another story. Just speaking to him with the 'wrong tone' will set him off. My daughter, you can explain things to her and somehow she gets it. Him, on the otherhand, will cry his head off. We are now teaching him to say please and thank you and it is so difficult.
When kpuff kpuff throws a tantrum, you can simply wait it out. When she stops crying, try getting down to her height level and explaining to her that her behavior is unacceptable in a stern voice. Worked for me. Helps the kids recognize that I am not joking. Then, if they get it and obey, you can simply give her a hug so she doesn't think you don't love her anymore.
The one thing I have learnt is that you must deal with the problem when it happens, not later, regardless of where you are and what time it is. If not, they think things are fine and will continue to act badly. That is just my 2 cents. As you know there is no one solution. Oh, and once my daughter, 'The Enforcer', turned 2 and started that tantrum nonsense, she got away with it for a while with just a talk. After some time, I started to spank her. Not too hard, but a firm spank on the bum. You won't believe how it changed her disposition quite quickly. We have started spanking her bro, 'The King' when he is extremely naughty (playing with DVD/VCR) - he doesn't like the indignity of it all and has stopped the troublesome behavior =)
Anyway, best of luck and enjoy the drunk walking while you can because once she gets more confident and independent, there will be a whole new set of issues to deal with.
@chichi...lol.. at your sisters waddling. If boys are any worse than kpuff kpuff is, then I hope my next kid is a girl as well, cause Kpuff kpuff is already a handful.
@chioma...lol...don't worry I have no intentions of 'paddling' her, the problem is she finds everything so damn funny, but I flicked her for the first time the other day, and she cried so much sort of like a "how dare you do this to me cry.."...lol. Sorry about your househelp beating your kid, these househelps are something else.
@solomonsydelle..that's actually an interesting tactic.....Your kids pet names are so cute ...lol. I've definitely started ignoring her tantrums now, I just place her carefully on the ground lying down so she doesn't fall, and I leave her there...lol
Hello, am back. Was away on a business trip.
The issue of discipline. My parents disciplined and gave us some beating (no kidding) when we were growing up and those incidents didn't kill us. In fact my elder sister said that she might not have turned out right otherwise. I firmly believe in disciplining a child but each parent is different. However, my 3 kobo-suggestion is pretty much what has been said - naughty behaviour must be corrected full stop. I started disciplining "the terrorist" (son) by putting him in a corner (which was facing a wall)for a couple of seconds. The first time it didn't bother him since he didn't know it was a type of punishmnet. However, when he noticed it was, it began to fill bad and behaved. From 1.5 to 2.5 years, he really earned his nickname and the corner ceased to be effective, so he got smacks. Then he began to fight back (I mean kicking, biting (!) and even spitting! (Like where on earth did he pick those up from??????) The "terrible twos" stage was reallly trying but both myself and husband do not tolerate naughtiness; more so my husband. He's calmed down somewhat but discipline continues when necessary. Sometimes, he is put in a room with sliding doors (which he hates) for a few minutes, while he cries blue murder and takes off his clothes in a rage(dunno where he got those "village-like" tactic from!)but he calms down. Other times I correct him with a stern voice and some times, I recognise that he's just been hyper. I guess the trick is balance. No one is perfect and I pray regularly to be a good Christian parent like the way mine were to me. After the punishment, kids need to be soothed and petted after being told why they were punished. My mum has taught me that.
Parenthood is a learning curve :)
I never quite explained how my playpen worked for me…
I tend to have what I call “United Nation” friends (friends from every nationality). The advantage is that things that are foreign to our Naija culture and could possibly help me are incorporated.
The Playpen for example. I walked into my friends’ house back then and she is Caucasian. Her home was spotless! Literally!
Not a toy out of place, nothing. I had to ask her whether her son was asleep and she said he wasn’t, but was playing in his playpen. The pen itself was HUGE! Took up a lot of space but was good as he was able to play in it and not be cramped, at all!!
Advantage – you could actually freely do things like pee in peace!
Disadvantage – before they get used to it, they will cry, trying to get out. But once that is done and they view it as a fun place to be. Life becomes much easier…
I tried it, and trust me I recommend that and sleep training for your personal peace of mind. Those were 2 of my greatest lessons learned.
Check out this website too www.raisingkids.co.uk it helped me a lot! GO to the forum section or I think its called the discussion board and click on the appropriate age group. Read up though, before you ask a question as it may have already been asked, and sometimes you might not even know what to ask until you read it.
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